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A lot of my previous articles talked about love and heartache. Writing about them was a sort of way to release some emotion and it helped me understand the relationship and eventually heal. It took some time, yes, but it can be done. In fact I found ‘the one’/my twin flame. My husband. But before that let me share with you that I ultimately had to come to the decision that I wanted a lasting true romance where there was unconditional love and ditch the ‘whatever I can get’ mentality. I had to realize that I freakin’ was worthy and deserved those amazing relationships that only seemed but a myth. And then after that moment of clarity, I had to show what I wanted to myself. Yes, I had to learn how to love myself. See, before you could experience true love, you have to love yourself. Sounds simple but for many people including myself, it proved to be rather difficult. When you grow up not having not much of a self-esteem or had been abused in some form or another, loving yourself becomes a challenge. Hell, it doesn’t even factor in at all. I used to seek out love and really bend and twist for someone to love me. And when they liked me or “loved” me it became an obsession to keep that love, that feeling of ecstasy to flow towards me at all times. And when the partner stopped reciprocating or didn’t reciprocate in the way I wanted, then down depression road I went. In short, I became co-dependent. I needed that “love” like I needed crack. In retrospect, that wasn’t true love. Because true love consists of two whole people who overflow their own love to one another — not one siphoning affection from the other. Anyway, I read the Peter McWilliams book Love 101 to learn that the greatest love comes from you and only you. So I started doing things on my own and enjoying my own company. And the funny thing is when I finally liked doing those things, shortly after I met my husband, AND I had no intention of meeting any one that night I went out with one of my girlfriends. I guess what I’m trying to say is when you want that somebody special in your life, you can’t be desperately seeking it. You got to just be happy on your own and the universe just brings you together at the right time. Also, I had a lot of faith and I just knew that everything’s okay and I would meet him at the right time. Oh and what stood out between my husband from the rest was that my relationship with him was just easy. Caring and loving each other just came with great ease. I never was needing that love from him. It just flowed between us naturally. There is some wisdom to that old adage, “you know when you’ll know.” Trust me. There is great love for you (from you and from your soul mate)! Check out the video below b/c this I also used to get me to clarity about finding a true lasting relationship.