Author Archive for Shruti

Green Monsters: understanding jealousy

Published by
Shruti
at July 21, 2009 in Empower Me and Happiness. 1 Comment

Jealousy. Now the word doesn’t exactly have the most positive connotations, but it can, if harnessed properly.

After graduating from college I went in search of jobs, even though I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted to do. Summer passed and my energies were scattered, still not sure where I was going or what was going to make me happy. A good friend of mine however, a year younger and still in school had an amazing internship lined up in the field of work that I love, broadcast journalism. She was going to work for a major news network covering local and world news. My question (or rather fear), was how had she managed to come so far but not me?

We had a lot in common this friend and I, and I value her dearly, but at the time I was so jealous of her. She was younger and already had her feet firmly planted in the ground. She was off to a great start in a field that I am equally passionate about. I certainly felt left behind, and had that “not good enough” feeling brewing inside of me.

As these feelings continued to simmer inside, and my attitude towards her began to take on a ’not-so-nice’ vibe owing to this jealousy I felt, I decided to write about my feelings as a way of venting. As I frantically scribbled them in my journal so as not to forget anything, I suddenly realized… I wasn’t really jealous of HER per se, but rather, I was jealous of the fact that she had found her passion in life and pursued it relentlessly. I knew the same career and line of work was also my passion, but I had not harnessed it as well as she had. As a result I felt inferior to her, and that’s what jealousy comes down to, it reflects a feeling of inferiority within ourselves.

Everything my friend did had the flair and intention of a journalist and now she had the professional experience to back it up. Where was my passion and why was I not calling it into existence? When I realized this, it was time to stop being angry at her and start taking responsibility for myself.

The jealousy I felt made me angry at my friend, but what had she done to me? Nothing. I realized then and there that part of living a full life is to take responsibility for your life. Taking responsibilty didn’t mean ”beating her up” for knowing and succeeding in her passion, and it didn’t mean “beating myself up” for not having found and pursued my passion earlier.

So what did it mean? Taking resposibilty means embracing this feeling of jealousy and allowing it to guide you towards that which fulfills you, so you feel whole and complete. I’ve learnt that jealousy is never directly about the other person per se, but rather what they have. And I don’t mean a car, job, house et., I mean a feeling, a state of being, that you wish you had too..whether it’s a feeling of being content, worthy, satisfied, fulfilled, loved or loving.

Jealousy helps to tells us what’s lacking in our own lives, what we’re unable to give to ourselves, but wish we could.

So next time the green monster pops up, use it to recognize what the other person is creating for themselves, that you wish you could create for yourself too. Once you start figuring that out, you can start identifying the blocks and working on dissolving them. And of course, don’t forget to thank the green monster along the way.

And did I mention, thanks to my green monster, I’m doing what I love now, I’ve found my passion and I know why I’m here. We all can :)

[contributed by Shruti]

Securing the Best Job(s) Possible - For YOU

Published by
Shruti
at August 21, 2007 in Work and Career. 0 Comments

I thought it important to share this story with all of you, so here it is.

After graduating from college with a BA in International Relations, I was the only Honor student who still didn’t have a great job lined up, or any job for that fact. I was one Honor student out of five, and there were only five Honor students out of almost 750 students in my major. How then, did some of them have jobs but not me?

After graduating I had one week to send out resumes, cover letters and references to job postings that I thought were up my alley. The whole time, I kept affirming to myself “I have so many prosperous job offers. Prosperous and prestigious job offers are flying at me.” And so I kept applying: the Woodrow Wilson Center, the Atlantic Council of the United States, the Council on Foreign Relations, various others, and of course, the UN. I drew my line at the UN, at this point I was so burned out from applying, and more importantly, I really really really wanted the job at the UN more than anything else and had a funny feeling I would get it.

But first, an interesting story about that. I’m sure you all know the famous quote Nelson Mandela spoke of: “Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.” Well that’s kind of what happened. Though it was the last job I applied for (and even then, thanks to my dad for pushing me to do it), it was the first job to interview me and offer me a position. And deep down I knew it would work out, but the question is, why did I wait so long? I could have saved a lot of time panicking about not having a job had I trusted my gut instinct and applied earlier. It really summed up the whole Mandela quote, I was truly afraid of succeeding and getting a job, and somewhere inside I knew the UN would hire me - that’s why I stopped looking for jobs after applying to the UN. Remember? That’s where I drew the line on the job search.

So ultimately I landed the job at the UN. Well it was more like a 6 month intensive internship program at the World Federation of UN Associations- but I had access to all these amazing meetings/conferences at the UN (not open to the general public), I was making global contacts, networking with the top-dogs, learning to be more creative and picking up skills that I didn’t have before. Of course in the meantime, I had forgotten about all the other jobs I had applied to, but that didn’t mean that I had stopped affirming. I still wanted “prosperous job offers to fly my way.” And they did.

The Woodrow Wilson Center got back to me about two weeks after I had started my position at the UN, and I mananged to do an interview with them and then defer a Fall position to a Spring position. And following that, the very next day in fact, the American Council of the United States got back to me with an interview offer as well. As my father says: “When it rains, it pours,” and that’s exactly what happened.

You wouldn’t believe it now, but I am currently sitting in my office area at the UN writing this post. August tends to be a slow month for the UN, and well, I had some free time on my hands and decided to use it wisely and share a little wisdom with you all. Wisdom that got me here in the first place.

I will be interviewing with the Atlantic Council of the United States sometime next week, and my plan there is to take a position with them in the summer. With these three job experiences lined up before Graduate School in Fall 2008, I couldn’t be more set. And it’s within your reach too, and you can’t let others dissuade you or make you think otherwise. Honestly, there were times when I couldn’t understand why I was not getting the response I wanted from the organizations I applied to, because frankly, I thought my resume and cover letter were pretty damn good. And I wasn’t going to change my mind; I had worked hard and had the grades and the work experience to show for it. I kept believing this and knew that ultimately, when the universe deemed the time was right, the job offers would come- and they did!! And they didn’t just come in one by one, but they literally flew in - and they still are. Furthermore, they weren’t just any job offers either, they were prosperous and prestigious job offers, just like I had affirmed- of course though, they were prosperous and prestigious from my point of view, they are the jobs that I imagined when I thought about what prosperous and prestigious meant to me. So make sure you get your wording right, know what the words mean to you and the kinds of images and feelings they conjure for you, because this is what you are ultimately bringing into existence.

And on that point it is time for me to get back to work at the UN. The first of many prestigious and prosperous job experiences flying my way. :-)

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