The other day someone random on the internet messaged me. He was seeking my advice. This is what he wrote:
hi sorry to bother i saw your post on forum and thought maybe u could give me some quick advice..if not then i guess delete this..ok well im a 29 yr old man in texas i just lost my job…i dont have a good job history for the last 3 yrs i just had a bad habit of losing jobs whether by job performance or other mistakes…i have a bad check on my background…even simple gas station jobs wont hire me..anyway to shorten this up. im realizing the likely possibility that im going to be on street if i cant get another job asap.i have a car payment also..there arent any jobs making more than 7 dollars where i live. so i have money for rent..but i might keep it for a bus ticket somewhere they can help me. so reason im writing u is there anywhere in california u know that helps people? here in texas they dont help u much at all…a food stamp card and send u on your way. a few yrs ago i was in a similar situation and found a place in fontana…but they arent really set up to help u better yourself..they give u place to stay but more like are there for ex cons to keep them from going back to jail..so im probably going to go back there somewhere but before i do was hoping to find some other options
And in response to this, I gladly gave him my 2 cents:
okay here’s what I’m going to tell you. You can take this information any way you like. But this is what I believe can help. First, you have to evaluate why these things are happening to you. Why did you lose your job? Are you attributing your job loss to your “bad habit of losing jobs” or being convicted in the past? I truly believe that your past does NOT determine your future. But the thing is, it seems like it does because you fall into this pattern of getting fired or laid off and it seems like one of the key explanations is your history w/ the cops. You know what? Your history has nothing to do with your ability to keep a job or getting hired. But guess what? As long as you BELIEVE that your history does affect your present then sure it will . It’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. So now you know that your past does not determine your future (and i can honestly testify to that), all you need to do is change your mindset. change your attitude on life. Do you get down easily? Do you find yourself frustrated about life? Even the little things? Change your perspective! I’m pretty sure things don’t look so peachy with your current situation. But your current situation is the result of your past thoughts and actions. Change your thoughts and actions now and your future situation will change. Guaranteed. See things with “the glass is half full” perspective. Not the other way around. And here’s the most important part. You have to be patient. But once you reprogram negative thinking to positive thinking, you will see a dramatic change. You need help in seeing in an optimistic light? Compare your situation to people in third world countries…Africa. Now, your situation doesnt seem so harsh. No one is chasing after you with a machete every day of your life (have you seen hotel rwanda?!). You may be thinking how this is going to help. The truth is when you start feeling better about your current situation then especially by being grateful for what you have, then you are able to move forward. If you’re not grateful and you’re pissed off then you’ll be stuck in the same predicament. It’s like when someone breaks up with you and you can’t get over the fact and all you do is talk about how that person broke your heart. So when a new person comes along, you don’t care b/c you are still living in the past, thinking about the other person. It’s like that with jobs and just life in general. When you are grateful and happy now vs. down and beating up on yourself, then you are able to SEE the opportunities that do come by. Oh and they are there. They’ve always been there. It’s whether or not you look up and ultimately grab them.
So long story short, think positively. No negativity. NADA. What do you want right now that you think you can achieve. I’ll help you out. You want a wonderful job where they appreciate your services. I think that’s attainable. You’ve had a job before and it’s not like you’re asking to be bill gates or anything. This is quite a simple goal. Now say an affirmation at least every night before you sleep. Here’s a good one: I’m in the process of getting a job that’s right for me. Say it like you mean it. And don’t doubt b/c that will just cancel your request out to the universe. And if this seems silly, then sorry. But this works as long as you believe (faith is necessary) that you deserve good things too. Try it. Do a 30-day trial. And don’t let anything bother you. Just remember that you’re in America and it’s the land of opportunity. People all over the world are still risking their lives to get here. You can do it. Maybe you’re doubting. Maybe you’re starting to see things differently. But hey you have one person that does believe and for things to get momentum in this world, it only takes one.
i recommend this wonderful self-help resource online. it’s free and it’ll be worth it in the long run.
http://www.stevepavlina.com/
peace and wellness.
Then he wrote me back:
ok that was definately a response i wasnt expecting. what i was expecting well i dont really know. well i appreciate the time and effort you put into that message. the past does have a role. employers ask for an application for a reason. it would be nice if i could just start with a clean slate somewhere. however it doesnt work that way. maybe im not seeing the way u intended me. but i can have all the faith in the world. and companies arent going to change their policies on hiring just because of my thought process. i dont have 30 days i dont even have 2 weeks. if i cant get a decent paying job by the 1st then it doesnt really matter. and with the holiday being monday and tuesday and for some places even wedenday that even lowers my chances..sorry if im not accepting how u thought i should..but im being realistic. i dont believe any confidence and no negative is going to matter when they look on my application and see nothing positive to them
I didn’t write him back. I believe when he really wants to change his situation, the information I gave him will either click in his mind or it will be given to him through another means. When the student is ready to learn, the master comes. Anyway, my advice is my belief. So it works for me because that is how I see the world. His world rejects my advice so of course my advice has no validity whatsoever. In reality, both are correct. It’s when you adopt one viewpoint from another that makes a world of a difference.
