purpleverses.com

I seem to be making headway and perhaps even coming to some sort of major turning point in life, even if it is a pyschological, intellectual and spiritual one. There is still a niggling, lingering question, however, which is what the heck am I to do with my life? I’m not sure that waiting tables or playing the bass or even doing both concurrently is the answer. When I evaluate myself I see the potential for more and even the work ethic to do it, but I have not found the path, although I very well may be on the path to discover it. I know it has something to do with expression, communication, and shared enlightenment, which funnily enough sounds exactly like what Athena wants to do with her life, and she’s even had set up for a month now my own account on Purple Verses. I am interested in contributing, however there are so many occurrences that I don’t know how to limit it even to a single posting. I suppose I could even write about the last two hours: how in the middle of the night I have wandered in the house, outside the house, sat inside, sat outside, climbed the roof of the house for the first time to stand, then to sit, everywhere, back and forth, back and forth. Why? Because I am so filled with the sensation of existing, the joy of it, the wonderment that I can cognate thought, move, feel my pulse, see natural and and man-made beauty from the lofty perch our house stands on. It’s too much. It is euphoria, a frisson. As if this weren’t enough, I have 24 years worth of personal life experiences to reflect upon in synergy with all that I have absorbed through reading and every other medium for education.

Further, I am almost rendered immobile when I reflect that I am in my prime, or at least one of many of differing qualities of prime throughout my lifetime. Just meditating on where I am in life, where I will eventually go and ultimately end is almost an enlightenment itself. Being able to sit, or stand, or walk free of pain is blessing I will never be able to appreciate enough. When I am older and my ankles and knees slowly give out from all the years of running, I will be able to return to the memory of moments including this immediate one, when I have fully relished the ease of movement that I currently enjoy, and that will get me by. There is too much in a moment of existence to realize and savor. However, over the last two hours, I have made progress in that almost endless process of cognizance and appreciation inherent in just one moment’s existence.

Athena has dubbed Jonathan, herself and I “the Three Kings,” for this very reason. We may not have a richness relative to those above us, and while we do have a richness far more so than millions below us, the real definition of richness is a spiritual one, which trumps any material definition. Athena, Jonathan and I are so aware and thankful for the joys we have in life that we likely appreciate our lives and what we have far more so than those with millions more than us. Our lives are unconditionally good, for reasons like the entire preceding paragraph. If richness is supposed to create happiness, and I have the kind of happiness found from simply living, then by golly I am one rich son of a bitch! Athena also talks about “billion dollar moments,” which are experiences in life worth a billion dollars in terms of the happiness that moment creates in substitution of having a billion dollars, and how eventually we may even be able to make monetary profit of it, simply from having internalized the richness of that moment and ultimately externalizing that richness in who we present ourselves as every day and in the work we do and the ideas we have. It’s not a scheme or scam. It’s being honest with ourselves and sharing our joy with others, which can take countless forms, all of which will surely have positive ends, whether they be infusing that joy in a small or large way with someone else or in a creative or utilitarian way that may actually result in material wealth.